What my LDR boyfriend fears the most

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Because of the whole passport dilemma, my long distance relationship with Cruz has been an emotional roller coaster. In my last post, I said that I’ve finally just decided to take a break from the relationship.

I told Cruz about my decision for us to take a break and his reaction completely broke my heart. 

He got scared.

It was as if I just told him that our relationship was over right then and there.

Don’t worry, I won’t bore you with the details of our extremely emotional and probably sappy conversation we had that lasted a few hours. However, the one part of the conversation that struck me hard was that he opened up about everything he feared would happen to our long distance relationship.

This is what he said:

“I’m scared that you’ll stop talking to me. Or that you’ll say you hate me and not sleep with me at night.

I’m scared that you won’t let me call you baby or any nicknames that I made for you. I’m also scared that you won’t call me baby or any special name you have for me.

I’m scared that you’ll stop wearing the necklace I gave you or that you get rid of it or lose it on purpose.

I’m scared you’ll say you never want to see my face again or hear my voice and block me on everything.

I get scared when you say you’re hurt. I also don’t like it when you say that you hate yourself.

I’m scared that you’ll say you don’t love me anymore or start believing that I don’t love you.

I’m scared that you’ll stop getting excited when we get to talk or hang out and start wishing you were with someone else.

I fear that you’ll start shutting me out of your life and not share things with me anymore.

I’m so scared that you’ll decide that you actually don’t want to ever meet me in person and stop caring about our first meeting.

I’m scared that you won’t be there when I come to visit in May”

And of course, seeing him say all of that had me bawling my eyes out.


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9 thoughts on “What my LDR boyfriend fears the most

  1. Ohh, this makes me sad! But I think me and you follow each other on Instagram and you two seem like such a cute couple from what I see and read. And based off of what he said, you obviously have a lot of feelings towards each other and care a lot. I hope everything works out!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind comment! He will be getting all this passport application stuff done (hopefully) by the end of next week and paying for the expedited service… I really hope it works out too and something doesn’t come up again 😦

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha yes! Seeing him open up to me made me realize that I’ve been silly thinking that he didn’t care about our first meeting, because he didn’t love me or something. He’s really trying hard to make it all work out which makes me happy, but I’m still really nervous that something else might come up 😦

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  2. It is huge when SOs have breakdowns like this. You see things from a different perspective and you remember that it’s not only you in the journey. Hang in there girl! In the end things will turn out the way they should =)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree that it’s very admirable that he opens up with you about his fears and that you can talk about it all. Henry and I talk about fears too and it makes us more comfortable with these feelings. You’re great together and will work it all out!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. awe 😦 this is so sad but hang in there!!! I know it’s tough and you’re probably thinking the worst but you gotta have faith in him and the relationship. Guys will always leave everything to the last minute thinking it’ll all work out where as, girls usually like to plan that shit out 6 months in advance lol, I know I do! He’s opened up to you and told you his fear of you leaving, i think that says a lot where most guys can just be like “alright – cool.” I’m sure it’ll all work out in the end. you gotta get through the storm to see the rainbow right? ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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