Because of the whole passport dilemma, my long distance relationship with Cruz has been an emotional roller coaster. In my last post, I said that I’ve finally just decided to take a break from the relationship.
I told Cruz about my decision for us to take a break and his reaction completely broke my heart.
He got scared.
It was as if I just told him that our relationship was over right then and there.
Don’t worry, I won’t bore you with the details of our extremely emotional and probably sappy conversation we had that lasted a few hours. However, the one part of the conversation that struck me hard was that he opened up about everything he feared would happen to our long distance relationship.
This is what he said:
“I’m scared that you’ll stop talking to me. Or that you’ll say you hate me and not sleep with me at night.
I’m scared that you won’t let me call you baby or any nicknames that I made for you. I’m also scared that you won’t call me baby or any special name you have for me.
I’m scared that you’ll stop wearing the necklace I gave you or that you get rid of it or lose it on purpose.
I’m scared you’ll say you never want to see my face again or hear my voice and block me on everything.
I get scared when you say you’re hurt. I also don’t like it when you say that you hate yourself.
I’m scared that you’ll say you don’t love me anymore or start believing that I don’t love you.
I’m scared that you’ll stop getting excited when we get to talk or hang out and start wishing you were with someone else.
I fear that you’ll start shutting me out of your life and not share things with me anymore.
I’m so scared that you’ll decide that you actually don’t want to ever meet me in person and stop caring about our first meeting.
I’m scared that you won’t be there when I come to visit in May”
And of course, seeing him say all of that had me bawling my eyes out.
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